God, You’re a jerk.

I know people wont like seeing that. But I can’t say I care right now.

Betas sucked. 231 to 371 (50%)

371 to 930 (61%)


spotting 6w4d

bleeding 6w5d

beta 1700 something. Who knows. Who cares. It way too low.

So much for prayers from little girls.

So much for prayers in Miracle chapels in Rome where the Virgin Mary appeared.

It’s all about old eggs. The end.


Every natural pregnancy has ended in pregnancy.


Sac measured 5w2d 




Beta #1

At 11dpo it was 60. P4 43 (with progesterone). Go for a repeat in a couple days. They will be a week apart. Still waiting on estrogen results.
Update estrogen normal at 347

Fertile at 41

I  am not entirely sure how but I have been pregnant 3 times in 9 month. My body is spitting out eggs as a last hurrah. I am pregnant again. My acupuncturist wanted me to wait 3 months. I waited two. I figured, what are the odds? Well apparently with me, they are good. 

Took a blood test on 11dpo. Dr never called with results… I called them. They said they would put them on his desk and call back. I’m hoping that no call means nothing alarming. Darkes line I’ve had for such an early time. Hope that is a good sign. 

What does fate have in store now?

So fate is being either kind or cruel. I am pregnant again. Shocking to say the least seeing how we did NINE ivfs for our two kids and I now I have gotten pregnant twice in four cycles. I am scared to death. I don’t know if I can handle any more heartbreak. The last miscarriage was really, really hard on me. It took a long time to stop crying every day. 

I have been doing acupuncture since early May. Initially to get my schedule back on track. She did. I had my period 30 days after my d&c even though I still was showing hcg in my system. That took almost TWO months to get below 5. Lucky me. The doc called in June and said it was ok to try and here I am pregnant in July. 

I am looking for hope. I am 41. Lots of people have babies at 41. Am I going it be one of them? I wish I knew. 

Prayers please if anyone is listening. 

Pics of tests. 
First is approx 10dpo. Not exactly sure the day I  ovulated. This was taken 11 days after a pos opk. Afternoon pee. 

12 days after pos opk

13 days after. 

Not a fan of the new curved frer. 

Today, 14 after on bottom. Yesterday’s on top. 

Not feeling much more confident but at least the line is getting darker. 
Doc appointment in 6 days. 

Prayers from Children to God

My now 5 year old daughter has been praying for a little sister for some time. She is the girliest of girls and I think she wants that sisterly bond and quite frankly someone to dress up and paint nails on… After Kellan was born, we decided no more IVF. No more money, doctors, shots etc. Not to say we felt our family was complete.. but if it was going to happen it would have to happen the old fashioned way.

So when she was asking for a sister.. I told her she would pray to Jesus cause that was the only way it was going to happen. So pray she did.

Two months later, a BFP happened. A naturally occurring, strong , BFP.

Beta at 16dpo, 552. Beta at 20 dpo 3663. WOW

Heartbeat seen at 6w5d.

Due date November 19, 2016.

God is GOOD. Don’t give up.


Kellan Patrick is here!


I had been scheduled for a repeat c section on October 23rd but in the back of my mind was wondering if I would make it. I felt so different at the end of the pregnancy… Things were happening. Baby was very low. Lots of Braxton hicks. So, the weekend leading up to his arrival, I started having loose stool. I thought.. Either this is a sign of labor coming or I have a bug. But it wasn’t like run to the bathroom bad, just not the usual constipation I had for the last nine months. I also thought I lost part of my mucus plug. This was a very dry pregnancy. Never had any discharge whatsoever. Then I started to get a bunch of egg white and some watery discharge. I wondered on Sunday and Monday of maybe it was amniotic fluid… But it was a tiny amount and had no smell. I didn’t want to be a paranoid pregnant woman and be sent home for peeing my pants. So, I did nothing. Monday came.. I had the urge to repack my bag, print my birth plan, check the car seat out, walk to mall and neighborhood (and walking was a chore with baby so low), and that evening I took a second shower and washed my hair. After the shower I got ready for bed and felt a small pocket of fluid come out. I thought,.. Now maybe that was my water or plug. It was blood. I called DH inside and told him we were going to the hospital. I called the OB who told me to go to L&D.

At L&D , they hooked me up to monitors and turns out I was having contractions. The real ones. They were Braxton hicks. They didn’t hurt though which is why I didn’t think anything much of them. They were 5-7 minutes apart. As I was there over the course of an hour, the intensity increased, but still no pain. They do believe my water had broken but couldn’t check due to the blood.

I was prepped for a csection. My OB explained I needed a vertical incision. I asked him if he could, externally, do a higher up horizontal incision. He had told me they look better when healed, not like a butt on your abdomen. So, that is what he did.

I asked about the placenta… Had it cleared to low lying? He said is was more marginal and totally anterior.. He had to go almost the entire length of my uterus to get above it to get the baby.

I had forgotten about the shakes you get from a spinal. What misery! You shake like a crack head. It is so uncomfortable.

I did get to nurse much quicker than last time, while in recovery and I also saw his first bath.

He was a whopping 8lbs 1 oz and 21 inches long. Born 10/15/13 at 1230am. I was 37 weeks and 6 days. No nicu or problems of any kind 🙂